You are not listening!
You are not listening if (a) your mind is preoccupied with other things ie you are not present, (b) you are thinking of what you are going say before the other person has finished speaking, (c) you have already come to a pre-mature conclusion of the conversation ie you are pretending to be listening or (d) all of the above.
And if you are not listening, the chances are you are finding it challenging to have difficult conversations at work or in your life for that matter. Believe it or not listening mindfully to people connects us with them, it bridges the gap, it brings us closer. Genuine connection is so powerful. Because when we really listening we are acknowledging the presence n existence of that person before. We offer to them our undivided attention in the present moment. We are there in mind, body and spirit. We don’t in our version of the truth, judge or interpret. To offer someone your simple basic presence and unconditional acceptance – is that not one of the most precious and meaningful gift we can ever offer?
And sometimes, we love to help and with the best intention we want to give advice. This is when your intuition comes in, you will need to gauge whether now or later would be more appropriate to give your advice.
Tips to mindful listening?
1- you show up and I mean really show up physically and mentally before the person,
2- get in the zone ie pay attention to the person before u while they are talking,
3- just listen ie you are not judging, you are not interrupting, you are not figuring what you are going to say in advance, you are not agreeing or disagreeing. Just listen! And
4- be curious n be kind while you are at it!
Don’t take my word for it, try it!